Travel etiquette: Would you ditch your partner in economy for a free upgrade?

Picture this. You and your partner are squished into the holding pens that are cattle class seats ahead of a long-haul flight and an apparent miracle occurs. A flight attendant approaches you and offers a free upgrade.

The only problem: There’s only space at the pointy end of the plane for one of you – and you’re tasked with deciding who it’s going to be. So what do you do? Ditch your partner, head upfront and get stuck into the gourmet meals and free booze on your lie-flat bed while they languish in economy? Or do you both suffer through the flight in the cheap seats together?

We asked our team of travel writers what they would do. You’re welcome to share your own thoughts in the comments.

Getting even

My husband didn’t have a hint of hesitation. Nothing. Zero.

He’s a Koru Club member, and I am not. I am happy to sponge off his membership to access airport lounges with him, meekly saying “I’m his plus one” as my boarding card prompts a red flash at the entrance.

But when asked very recently about future flights and whether he would ditch me in economy while he enjoyed an upgrade there was an unequivocal answer of “yes”.

And that was that.

No discussion as I *gay gasped* and stammered “but… but… we’re married”.

He smiled, perhaps dreaming of future champagne at 40,000 feet, while I could only think of reenacting Kristen Wiig’s plane scene in Bridesmaids.

Should one day the roles be reversed we both know where we stand. Or sit in this case.

– Alan Granville, Travel Reporter

The ungrateful ex

It was a work trip overseas. For me, all expenses paid for, and for him, almost all expenses. He paid for his flight, but the accommodation, food and most activities were covered thanks to my work efforts.

So you can imagine my utter indignation when he jumped ahead of me and upgraded his seat – to the last one in the pointy end of the plane – leaving me in economy on the return leg to New Zealand.

The thing that made me so mad was that the only reason he was on this trip was because of my work. He was happy to come for the free bits, then happy to ditch me at the end. Gratitude, huh?

– Juliette Sivertsen, Acting Chief Travel News Director

The Bridesmaids scenario

Bridesmaids is one of my all-time favourite movies, and one of my all-time favourite scenes is when Kristen Wiig’s character, Annie, is relegated to economy class, while the rest of her friends get to travel in first class on their way to Vegas for a bachelorette party.

Poor Annie is scared of flying, and with no one to comfort her, turns to sleeping pills and alcohol. Much hilarity ensues when, thanks to her newfound medication-and-alcohol-induced confidence, Annie makes repeated attempts to sneak into the first class cabin (“help me, I’m poor”).

I’ve never been in the position where I’ve had the opportunity to take an upgrade, leaving my travel buddy at the back of the plane. But I reckon it’s a dick move – travel is all about shared experiences, good and bad. If you’ve booked a trip with someone, you should be quite literally in it for the long-haul – even if that means giving up complimentary champagne and a lie-flat seat for a luke-warm chicken-or-beef dinner and limited legroom.

– Siobhan Downes, Senior Travel Reporter

The insomniac

To be brutally honest, I’d ditch ‘em.

As a chronic insomniac with restless legs syndrome, I don’t get a wink of sleep on a long-haul flight. Nothing helps – eye masks, ear plugs, sleeping pills, booze… Nothing that is except a business class lie-flat bed.

The first time I flew business class, on a work trip to Dubai, I was too excited to sleep. I sipped bottomless glasses of bubbly, savoured the novelty that was edible onboard meals, hung out at the business class bar, and watched back-to-back movies on the lie-flat bed.

The return journey was a different story. Zonked after that sleepless red-eye flight and a full-on week in a different time zone, I slept a longer than usual eight hours. The glasses of bubbly helped, sure. But the game changer was the lie-flat bed.

I get that leisure travel is all about spending time with your travel buddies, but I’m no good to them if I arrive at our destination looking and feeling like the walking dead. I’d be doing them a favour by taking the upgrade really. They’d be spared days, or weeks, of the sleep-deprived monster that is me.

Of course, if they’re also chronic insomniacs, I’d find it much harder (okay impossible) to justify. In that case, I’d suggest a roll of the dice. Or perhaps a game of chess if I thought they were any worse at it than me.

– Lorna Thornber, Travel Reporter

The dutiful parent

I initially thought I’d jump at the chance for an upgrade and leave my significant other in the cheap seats, no two ways about it. We could always trade places halfway through the flight and then both enjoy the fruits of the luxury service.

Then I remembered that we typically travel with two children under five, and if either of us had been left to wrangle them alone in economy it wouldn’t make for a particularly enjoyable experience – no matter the distance.

Travelling without the young ones, I’d be well up for making the move, although it would probably depend on the length of the journey. I’m not bothered by the little amenities packs but the generous legroom and ability to lie flat is game changing.

– Stephen Heard, Travel Publishing Coordinator

Would you ditch your travel buddy in economy for an upgrade? Let us know in the comments.