If Meghan Markle revives her blog, The Tig, what would that look like?

COMMENT: News that Meghan Markle could be reviving her lifestyle blog The Tig quickly sent shockwaves around the media world.

Panicked pop culture enthusiasts scrambled at the possibility, unsure how The Tig will alter the media landscape – will Prince Harry pen an Elizabeth Arden-sponsored skincare column? Would Meghan let us in on the soulless chic of their Montecito palace? Did anyone ever listen to Archetypes?

After shutting down The Tig in 2017, Meghan has filed with the US Trademark and Patent Office, sparking rumours she could create a “revamped” version which would be competing against the likes of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop, as Meghan re-examines beloved topics such as Meghan’s dog, Meghan’s avocado toast, Meghan’s “badass reading list,” and Meghan’s self-love.

Rumour has it that Meghan will even provide her own spin on a classic Agony Aunt column, which will presumably tackle relatable topics such as: “What to do when the Queen Consort converts your living room into another bedroom, even though she already has 16 in her house”, “How to respond when Tyler Perry starts asking for rent,” or “How to time Beyoncé texting you in such a way that you can feature it in your Netflix special.”

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We know from Harry taking the ‘tell-all’ in ‘tell-all memoir’ far too literally that the couple are not afraid of oversharing.

But Meghan might need to display more judicious skills of editing in her new journalist era.

Past ‘Relatable-AF’ stories from The Tig seem to solely focus on how much Meghan loves her dogs, how much she loves wine, and how much she loves dark chocolate.

It’s a cosy space that seems to valorise the zombie prose of a yoga instructor’s Instagram caption – eat chocolate, drink wine, and don’t forget to vote!

But how will The Tig assure its relevance in 2023? You might look at her original editor’s letter for insight, a letter in which Meghan implores us all to: “Keep finding those Tig moments of discovery, keep laughing and taking risks, and keep being “the change you wish to see in the world”.

Now, I don’t know what a “Tig moment of discovery” means, but I do know that last part is a quote by Nelson Mandela, not Meghan – but let’s not diminish all the changes the defunct The Tig once contributed to our world.

The word “Tig” refers to Tignanello, the wine brand that allowed Meghan to “get” wine, and became her byword for suddenly making sense of something.

Meghan herself described the original blog as her “amazing community”, “passion project”, and her “little engine that could”, and if that doesn’t merit comparisons to one of the 20th century’s greatest political leaders, I don’t know what would.

The Daily Mail, famously Meghan’s most violent critics, has already shaded the fresh revival with the most passive-aggressive use of quote marks ever seen, courtesy of the title: “Meghan looks set to bring back her ‘successful’ wellness blog.”

So, is there any potential for Meghan to follow in Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop-like footsteps? Because, let’s face it, The Tig is like Goop for people who have live, laugh, love embroidered on their pillows. It’s Goop for those who enjoy a sticker decal of the Eiffel Tower. It’s Goop for those who can’t move for Keep Calm and Carry On merch. It’s Goop for Meghan Markle, basically.

Now, you cannot blame Meghan for having to make money – let’s get that bread, GIRLBO$$! – but while one can admire the way she and Harry have unsuckled themselves from the royal teat, it’s a shame for the rest of us that their income has all been derived from this story of the unsuckling, and how the teat responded.

Let’s be honest, I’ll be eating my words once The Tig IPO attains $1 billion, presumably cresting onto the market thanks to record high sales of Meghan’s new scented candle lines, which presumably will smell like Harry’s famously not-balding ginger curls.

So serve yourself some avocado toast and slip into some lululemon – we’re now on the long road to Tigdom. The Tig is set to reign over Montecito, and soon there will be three of them in this relationship, Meghan, Harry, and The Tig (four, if you count The Daily Mail poring over the blog on a line-by-line-basis).

Let’s look forward to many more Tig moments of discovery, one and all, and don’t forget the red wine and dark chocolate. You’re going to need it.